I Wish You Weren't Home
He comes homes after a long day at school and there she is waiting for him. Expressively and passionately tells him every single chore she did while he was away, and how much she missed him. Tired, he listens and feels loved and special.
He comes home after a late night party with friends. She's waiting with drowsy eyes and a lecture on how he doesn't care about her, how she stays awake for him, how good boys don't behave this way. Tired, he listens, tries appeasing her, he feels guilty and realizes he needs to make her feel special and loved.
He comes home after a date with his girlfriend. She's waiting looking unloved and unhappy. She enlightens him about how she was waiting for him, how he never spends time with her,how his girlfriend is more important and how lonely she feels all day.
Imagine this cycle of interaction being replayed almost everyday in someone's life. How this pattern of interaction is unhealthy for both parties. I realize the problem is more complex than it seems. It originates in the way women have been treated from many years ago. How their existence has been reduced by men to that of cleaning,cooking,child bearing and raising,and essentially serving the man. But, what is sad is that women failed to mentally realize they are worth and capable of more than such primitive acts. Again, you can say that their self esteem was never allowed to grow, they were never given any arena to apply their minds and so the only experts they became were on mundane and mindless activities such as cooking, cleaning and procreating. There is a fundamental insecurity in women who have been subjected to such lifestyles or those who have gladly chosen them. To keep their self esteem alive and to feel needed, these women have chosen to become monuments of self pity and self glory.
What I fail to realize is how can you expect your husband, child and society to respect your existence and life if you take no pride in it. How can you be proud of something that you only use as a tool of self pity. If you chose to be home or you had to be home for whatever reason, it's history. Why are you so insecure about your position that you feel the only way to secure it is through emotional drama and a list of sacrifices. What sort of love and respect can be earned using such crass and pathetic methods. Ironically though, these techniques work out great for these women. They are always on the demanding front, always the "damsel in distress", the "poor me", "the selfless one whose always waited", and whatever innovative sacrifices they want to add to the list. Repeat a lie enough times and it becomes the truth. Similarly, repeat a story enough times and it becomes reality.
The sad thing is these women in a way have to use these riduculous techniques because their lives have nothing else going in it. Ensuring their husbands and children forever remain glued to them in thought and best in physical reality, they have to subject them to these stories of sacrifices,misery and moral of the story is always;self glorification. The result is exactly what they want to create; a constant pressure, a perpetual guilt, and conviction that she really is a "poor me". Sitting at home and doing nothing much substantial, I have to say these women are shrewd enough to learn what is vital to their existence.
I must say these women have taken full revenge for whatever they were put through. These poor husbands and naive sons fall prey to these well crafted subconscious games. No mattar what they do for her, they're always going to feel it's not enough, they should be doing more.
So, all in all, I think these women have a great deal. Sitting at home, waking up when they want, blending a few spices together, and each day growing to be a bigger monument of self pity in their own eyes.
Sadly, these women don't realize that there is more to them than their husbands, and children. Her existence doesn't and shouldn't be justified by her role in their lives. She can and should dare to let go, let go of the the constant nagging, cribbing,story telling and self pitying. Don't haunt your husband and children with every sacrifice you did for them. It was your choice. Yes, you had a choice and it's important to respect your choice by not demanding constant attention, assurance and importance. If you truely deserve it, you'll get it and you might not, and that's just fine too. It doesn't require another saga of pain and hurt to be added to your life story. Find and develop your worth within you.
I wish more women would work or atleast do something more productive than cooking ,cleaning and sleeping.
I wish more men could come home and not be subject to emotional games and dramas.
I wish you weren't ALWAYS home.....
He comes home after a late night party with friends. She's waiting with drowsy eyes and a lecture on how he doesn't care about her, how she stays awake for him, how good boys don't behave this way. Tired, he listens, tries appeasing her, he feels guilty and realizes he needs to make her feel special and loved.
He comes home after a date with his girlfriend. She's waiting looking unloved and unhappy. She enlightens him about how she was waiting for him, how he never spends time with her,how his girlfriend is more important and how lonely she feels all day.
Imagine this cycle of interaction being replayed almost everyday in someone's life. How this pattern of interaction is unhealthy for both parties. I realize the problem is more complex than it seems. It originates in the way women have been treated from many years ago. How their existence has been reduced by men to that of cleaning,cooking,child bearing and raising,and essentially serving the man. But, what is sad is that women failed to mentally realize they are worth and capable of more than such primitive acts. Again, you can say that their self esteem was never allowed to grow, they were never given any arena to apply their minds and so the only experts they became were on mundane and mindless activities such as cooking, cleaning and procreating. There is a fundamental insecurity in women who have been subjected to such lifestyles or those who have gladly chosen them. To keep their self esteem alive and to feel needed, these women have chosen to become monuments of self pity and self glory.
What I fail to realize is how can you expect your husband, child and society to respect your existence and life if you take no pride in it. How can you be proud of something that you only use as a tool of self pity. If you chose to be home or you had to be home for whatever reason, it's history. Why are you so insecure about your position that you feel the only way to secure it is through emotional drama and a list of sacrifices. What sort of love and respect can be earned using such crass and pathetic methods. Ironically though, these techniques work out great for these women. They are always on the demanding front, always the "damsel in distress", the "poor me", "the selfless one whose always waited", and whatever innovative sacrifices they want to add to the list. Repeat a lie enough times and it becomes the truth. Similarly, repeat a story enough times and it becomes reality.
The sad thing is these women in a way have to use these riduculous techniques because their lives have nothing else going in it. Ensuring their husbands and children forever remain glued to them in thought and best in physical reality, they have to subject them to these stories of sacrifices,misery and moral of the story is always;self glorification. The result is exactly what they want to create; a constant pressure, a perpetual guilt, and conviction that she really is a "poor me". Sitting at home and doing nothing much substantial, I have to say these women are shrewd enough to learn what is vital to their existence.
I must say these women have taken full revenge for whatever they were put through. These poor husbands and naive sons fall prey to these well crafted subconscious games. No mattar what they do for her, they're always going to feel it's not enough, they should be doing more.
So, all in all, I think these women have a great deal. Sitting at home, waking up when they want, blending a few spices together, and each day growing to be a bigger monument of self pity in their own eyes.
Sadly, these women don't realize that there is more to them than their husbands, and children. Her existence doesn't and shouldn't be justified by her role in their lives. She can and should dare to let go, let go of the the constant nagging, cribbing,story telling and self pitying. Don't haunt your husband and children with every sacrifice you did for them. It was your choice. Yes, you had a choice and it's important to respect your choice by not demanding constant attention, assurance and importance. If you truely deserve it, you'll get it and you might not, and that's just fine too. It doesn't require another saga of pain and hurt to be added to your life story. Find and develop your worth within you.
I wish more women would work or atleast do something more productive than cooking ,cleaning and sleeping.
I wish more men could come home and not be subject to emotional games and dramas.
I wish you weren't ALWAYS home.....
posted by Enigma at 10:26 PM
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