Beautiful Complexities.....
I wander why we feel more emotions than we can explain or comprehend. Is the added complexity called life?Or that makes us alive?.
I look back, I've gained so much, lost so much. Lost quintessential parts of me, and gained unknown parts of what others did to me.
I feel angry when I see Him so misunderstood, when I hear others talk about Him as if He were some ill tempered, cruel, narrow minded force. I feel upset not because they disagree with me but because they have reduced Him to such a crude level and form.
And yet they claim to have more right over Him than someone who quietly believes in the vastness of Him.
Relationships; maybe the length of the word itself should have been a clue to its complexity and idiosyncrasies. The seduction of love by ego; each lusting forward with more passion. The desire is to make the other cringe in pain and pleasure and eventual submission. To satisfy the other so much that no conflict remains. The pleasure enjoyed by both but the secret joy of victory lingers more so in one, either love or ego.
Words, something we judge early development by but maybe never realize the power they wield. Uttered by the movement of lips, lips that may have imprinted illusions of love and commitment before; From those same lips come words that so beautifully shatter illusions. Shatter them such that never again do you get washed away in their intoxication.
I am lost in me. Romantically and sadly...I am in love with myself. For only I know some of the most treasured things about myself, only I know how not to hurt myself; or maybe I don't. I love the way I smile when I don't want to, I love the way I blame myself for others mistakes, I love the way I sweeten the ugliest realities just to make someone else feel respected, validated and loved. I love the way I speak so fast just because I feel no one else wants to hear me. I love myself for always believing that I take more than I give and for forgetting everything that I do give.
Sadly, I am lost in me because the me that I was and started with got lost, so lost that it was never me again. Yet, I say that with no remorse, no regrets, and no self pity. I loved who I was then for its innocence and purity. I love who I am now because I made that journey, gained the wisdom and never blamed anyone.
Like a butterfly touching on the beauty of many, but attaching itself to none; Fluttering in the vast blue sky for it was for this detachment and light that it spent many months in darkness....
I look back, I've gained so much, lost so much. Lost quintessential parts of me, and gained unknown parts of what others did to me.
I feel angry when I see Him so misunderstood, when I hear others talk about Him as if He were some ill tempered, cruel, narrow minded force. I feel upset not because they disagree with me but because they have reduced Him to such a crude level and form.
And yet they claim to have more right over Him than someone who quietly believes in the vastness of Him.
Relationships; maybe the length of the word itself should have been a clue to its complexity and idiosyncrasies. The seduction of love by ego; each lusting forward with more passion. The desire is to make the other cringe in pain and pleasure and eventual submission. To satisfy the other so much that no conflict remains. The pleasure enjoyed by both but the secret joy of victory lingers more so in one, either love or ego.
Words, something we judge early development by but maybe never realize the power they wield. Uttered by the movement of lips, lips that may have imprinted illusions of love and commitment before; From those same lips come words that so beautifully shatter illusions. Shatter them such that never again do you get washed away in their intoxication.
I am lost in me. Romantically and sadly...I am in love with myself. For only I know some of the most treasured things about myself, only I know how not to hurt myself; or maybe I don't. I love the way I smile when I don't want to, I love the way I blame myself for others mistakes, I love the way I sweeten the ugliest realities just to make someone else feel respected, validated and loved. I love the way I speak so fast just because I feel no one else wants to hear me. I love myself for always believing that I take more than I give and for forgetting everything that I do give.
Sadly, I am lost in me because the me that I was and started with got lost, so lost that it was never me again. Yet, I say that with no remorse, no regrets, and no self pity. I loved who I was then for its innocence and purity. I love who I am now because I made that journey, gained the wisdom and never blamed anyone.
Like a butterfly touching on the beauty of many, but attaching itself to none; Fluttering in the vast blue sky for it was for this detachment and light that it spent many months in darkness....
posted by Enigma at 9:53 AM
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